diff --git a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/NoiseKernels2D.java b/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/NoiseKernels2D.java
deleted file mode 100644
index b781cd784..000000000
--- a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/NoiseKernels2D.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,8 +0,0 @@
-package art.arcane.iris.util.simd;
-
-public interface NoiseKernels2D {
-    String describe();
-
-    void simplexFractalFBM(long seed, int octaves, double frequency, double lacunarity, double gain,
-                           double fractalBounding, double[] xs, double[] zs, double[] out, int length);
-}
diff --git a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/ScalarNoiseKernels2D.java b/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/ScalarNoiseKernels2D.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e2b592d0b..000000000
--- a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/ScalarNoiseKernels2D.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,99 +0,0 @@
-package art.arcane.iris.util.simd;
-
-public final class ScalarNoiseKernels2D implements NoiseKernels2D {
-    static final double F2 = 0.5D * (Math.sqrt(3.0D) - 1.0D);
-    static final double G2 = (3.0D - Math.sqrt(3.0D)) / 6.0D;
-    static final long X_PRIME = 1619L;
-    static final long Y_PRIME = 31337L;
-    static final double[] GRAD_2D = {-1D, -1D, 1D, -1D, -1D, 1D, 1D, 1D, 0D, -1D, -1D, 0D, 0D, 1D, 1D, 0D};
-
-    @Override
-    public String describe() {
-        return "scalar";
-    }
-
-    static long fastFloor(double f) {
-        return f >= 0D ? (long) f : (long) f - 1L;
-    }
-
-    static double gradCoord2D(long seed, long x, long y, double xd, double yd) {
-        long hash = seed;
-        hash ^= X_PRIME * x;
-        hash ^= Y_PRIME * y;
-        hash = hash * hash * hash * 60493L;
-        hash = (hash >> 13) ^ hash;
-        int gradientIndex = ((int) hash & 7) << 1;
-        return (xd * GRAD_2D[gradientIndex]) + (yd * GRAD_2D[gradientIndex + 1]);
-    }
-
-    static double singleSimplex(long seed, double x, double y) {
-        double t = (x + y) * F2;
-        long i = fastFloor(x + t);
-        long j = fastFloor(y + t);
-        t = (i + j) * G2;
-        double x0 = x - (i - t);
-        double y0 = y - (j - t);
-        long i1;
-        long j1;
-        if (x0 > y0) {
-            i1 = 1L;
-            j1 = 0L;
-        } else {
-            i1 = 0L;
-            j1 = 1L;
-        }
-        double x1 = x0 - i1 + G2;
-        double y1 = y0 - j1 + G2;
-        double x2 = x0 - 1D + (2D * G2);
-        double y2 = y0 - 1D + (2D * G2);
-        double n0;
-        double n1;
-        double n2;
-        double a = 0.5D - x0 * x0 - y0 * y0;
-        if (a < 0D) {
-            n0 = 0D;
-        } else {
-            a *= a;
-            n0 = a * a * gradCoord2D(seed, i, j, x0, y0);
-        }
-        double b = 0.5D - x1 * x1 - y1 * y1;
-        if (b < 0D) {
-            n1 = 0D;
-        } else {
-            b *= b;
-            n1 = b * b * gradCoord2D(seed, i + i1, j + j1, x1, y1);
-        }
-        double c = 0.5D - x2 * x2 - y2 * y2;
-        if (c < 0D) {
-            n2 = 0D;
-        } else {
-            c *= c;
-            n2 = c * c * gradCoord2D(seed, i + 1L, j + 1L, x2, y2);
-        }
-        return 50D * (n0 + n1 + n2);
-    }
-
-    static double simplexFractalFBMScalar(long seed, int octaves, double frequency, double lacunarity, double gain,
-                                          double fractalBounding, double xIn, double yIn) {
-        double x = xIn * frequency;
-        double y = yIn * frequency;
-        long s = seed;
-        double sum = singleSimplex(s, x, y);
-        double amp = 1D;
-        for (int o = 1; o < octaves; o++) {
-            x *= lacunarity;
-            y *= lacunarity;
-            amp *= gain;
-            sum += singleSimplex(++s, x, y) * amp;
-        }
-        return sum * fractalBounding;
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void simplexFractalFBM(long seed, int octaves, double frequency, double lacunarity, double gain,
-                                  double fractalBounding, double[] xs, double[] zs, double[] out, int length) {
-        for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-            out[k] = simplexFractalFBMScalar(seed, octaves, frequency, lacunarity, gain, fractalBounding, xs[k], zs[k]);
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupport.java b/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupport.java
index 07347095a..055550867 100644
--- a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupport.java
+++ b/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupport.java
@@ -9,9 +9,7 @@ public final class SimdSupport {
     private static final String VECTOR_MODULE = "jdk.incubator.vector";
     private static final boolean MODULE_PRESENT = ModuleLayer.boot().findModule(VECTOR_MODULE).isPresent();
     private static final AtomicReference<Throwable> KERNEL_FAILURE = new AtomicReference<>();
-    private static final AtomicReference<Throwable> NOISE_KERNEL_FAILURE = new AtomicReference<>();
     private static final SimdKernels KERNELS = selectKernels();
-    private static final NoiseKernels2D NOISE_KERNELS_2D = selectNoiseKernels2D();
 
     private SimdSupport() {
     }
@@ -20,10 +18,6 @@ public final class SimdSupport {
         return KERNELS;
     }
 
-    public static NoiseKernels2D noiseKernels2D() {
-        return NOISE_KERNELS_2D;
-    }
-
     public static boolean isVectorModulePresent() {
         return MODULE_PRESENT;
     }
@@ -36,19 +30,10 @@ public final class SimdSupport {
         return KERNEL_FAILURE.get();
     }
 
-    public static Throwable noiseKernelInitializationFailure() {
-        return NOISE_KERNEL_FAILURE.get();
-    }
-
     public static String kernelStatus() {
         return kernelStatus(isVectorized(), KERNELS.describe(), MODULE_PRESENT, KERNEL_FAILURE.get(), simdEnabledInSettings());
     }
 
-    public static String noiseKernelStatus() {
-        return noiseKernelStatus(!(NOISE_KERNELS_2D instanceof ScalarNoiseKernels2D), NOISE_KERNELS_2D.describe(),
-                MODULE_PRESENT, NOISE_KERNEL_FAILURE.get(), simdEnabledInSettings());
-    }
-
     static String kernelStatus(boolean vectorized, String description, boolean modulePresent, Throwable failure, boolean settingEnabled) {
         if (vectorized) {
             return "vector kernels enabled (" + description + ")";
@@ -69,39 +54,13 @@ public final class SimdSupport {
         return "scalar kernels active; the Vector API reported no usable vector shape on this CPU";
     }
 
-    static String noiseKernelStatus(boolean vectorized, String description, boolean modulePresent, Throwable failure, boolean settingEnabled) {
-        if (vectorized) {
-            return "2D noise vector kernels enabled (" + description + ")";
-        }
-
-        if (!modulePresent) {
-            return "2D noise scalar kernels active; the " + VECTOR_MODULE + " module is not on this JVM";
-        }
-
-        if (failure != null) {
-            return "2D noise scalar kernels active; vector kernel initialization failed: " + describe(failure);
-        }
-
-        if (!settingEnabled) {
-            return "2D noise vector kernels disabled (performance.simdKernels=false)";
-        }
-
-        return "2D noise scalar kernels active; this CPU has fewer than the 4 double lanes the vector kernel needs to pay for itself";
-    }
-
     public static void install() {
         IrisLogging.info("SIMD: " + kernelStatus());
-        IrisLogging.info("SIMD: " + noiseKernelStatus());
 
         Throwable failure = KERNEL_FAILURE.get();
         if (failure != null) {
             IrisLogging.reportError("Iris could not initialize its Vector API kernels; generation runs on the scalar kernels instead.", failure);
         }
-
-        Throwable noiseFailure = NOISE_KERNEL_FAILURE.get();
-        if (noiseFailure != null) {
-            IrisLogging.reportError("Iris could not initialize its Vector API 2D noise kernels; noise runs on the scalar kernels instead.", noiseFailure);
-        }
     }
 
     public static SimdKernels createVectorKernels() {
@@ -117,24 +76,6 @@ public final class SimdSupport {
         }
     }
 
-    public static NoiseKernels2D createVectorNoiseKernels2D() {
-        if (!MODULE_PRESENT) {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        try {
-            Class<?> cls = Class.forName("art.arcane.iris.util.simd.VectorNoiseKernels2D");
-            boolean profitable = (boolean) cls.getMethod("profitable").invoke(null);
-            if (!profitable) {
-                return null;
-            }
-            return (NoiseKernels2D) cls.getDeclaredConstructor().newInstance();
-        } catch (Throwable e) {
-            NOISE_KERNEL_FAILURE.set(e);
-            return null;
-        }
-    }
-
     private static SimdKernels selectKernels() {
         if (!simdEnabledInSettings()) {
             return new ScalarSimdKernels();
@@ -144,15 +85,6 @@ public final class SimdSupport {
         return vector == null ? new ScalarSimdKernels() : vector;
     }
 
-    private static NoiseKernels2D selectNoiseKernels2D() {
-        if (!simdEnabledInSettings()) {
-            return new ScalarNoiseKernels2D();
-        }
-
-        NoiseKernels2D vector = createVectorNoiseKernels2D();
-        return vector == null ? new ScalarNoiseKernels2D() : vector;
-    }
-
     private static String describe(Throwable failure) {
         Throwable root = failure;
         while (root.getCause() != null && root.getCause() != root) {
diff --git a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/VectorNoiseKernels2D.java b/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/VectorNoiseKernels2D.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 5db19a260..000000000
--- a/core/src/main/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/VectorNoiseKernels2D.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,129 +0,0 @@
-package art.arcane.iris.util.simd;
-
-import jdk.incubator.vector.DoubleVector;
-import jdk.incubator.vector.LongVector;
-import jdk.incubator.vector.VectorMask;
-import jdk.incubator.vector.VectorOperators;
-import jdk.incubator.vector.VectorSpecies;
-
-public final class VectorNoiseKernels2D implements NoiseKernels2D {
-    private static final VectorSpecies<Double> DS = DoubleVector.SPECIES_PREFERRED;
-    private static final VectorSpecies<Long> LS = LongVector.SPECIES_PREFERRED;
-    private static final boolean ALIGNED = DS.length() == LS.length();
-    private static final int MIN_PROFITABLE_LANES = 4;
-    private static final boolean PROFITABLE = ALIGNED && DS.length() >= MIN_PROFITABLE_LANES;
-    private static final double[] GRAD_X = {-1D, 1D, -1D, 1D, 0D, -1D, 0D, 1D};
-    private static final double[] GRAD_Y = {-1D, -1D, 1D, 1D, -1D, 0D, 1D, 0D};
-    private static final double F2 = ScalarNoiseKernels2D.F2;
-    private static final double G2 = ScalarNoiseKernels2D.G2;
-    private static final long X_PRIME = ScalarNoiseKernels2D.X_PRIME;
-    private static final long Y_PRIME = ScalarNoiseKernels2D.Y_PRIME;
-    private static final ThreadLocal<long[]> LONG_SCRATCH = ThreadLocal.withInitial(() -> new long[LS.length()]);
-
-    public static boolean lanesAligned() {
-        return ALIGNED;
-    }
-
-    public static boolean profitable() {
-        return PROFITABLE;
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public String describe() {
-        return DS.length() + "x64 lanes, " + DS.vectorShape();
-    }
-
-    private static LongVector floorToLong(DoubleVector f) {
-        LongVector truncated = (LongVector) f.convertShape(VectorOperators.D2L, LS, 0);
-        VectorMask<Long> negative = f.compare(VectorOperators.LT, 0D).cast(LS);
-        return truncated.sub(1L, negative);
-    }
-
-    private static DoubleVector toDouble(LongVector v) {
-        return (DoubleVector) v.convertShape(VectorOperators.L2D, DS, 0);
-    }
-
-    private static DoubleVector gradCoord(long seed, LongVector i, LongVector j, DoubleVector xd, DoubleVector yd,
-                                          int[] idxScratch) {
-        LongVector hash = LongVector.broadcast(LS, seed)
-                .lanewise(VectorOperators.XOR, i.mul(X_PRIME))
-                .lanewise(VectorOperators.XOR, j.mul(Y_PRIME));
-        hash = hash.mul(hash).mul(hash).mul(60493L);
-        LongVector shifted = hash.lanewise(VectorOperators.ASHR, 13);
-        hash = shifted.lanewise(VectorOperators.XOR, hash);
-        LongVector idx = hash.lanewise(VectorOperators.AND, 7L);
-        long[] tmp = LONG_SCRATCH.get();
-        idx.intoArray(tmp, 0);
-        for (int l = 0; l < idxScratch.length; l++) {
-            idxScratch[l] = (int) tmp[l];
-        }
-        DoubleVector gx = DoubleVector.fromArray(DS, GRAD_X, 0, idxScratch, 0);
-        DoubleVector gy = DoubleVector.fromArray(DS, GRAD_Y, 0, idxScratch, 0);
-        return xd.mul(gx).add(yd.mul(gy));
-    }
-
-    private static DoubleVector corner(DoubleVector xk, DoubleVector yk, DoubleVector grad) {
-        DoubleVector t = DoubleVector.broadcast(DS, 0.5D).sub(xk.mul(xk)).sub(yk.mul(yk));
-        VectorMask<Double> negative = t.compare(VectorOperators.LT, 0D);
-        DoubleVector t2 = t.mul(t);
-        DoubleVector t4 = t2.mul(t2);
-        return t4.mul(grad).blend(0D, negative);
-    }
-
-    private static DoubleVector singleSimplexVector(long seed, DoubleVector x, DoubleVector y, int[] idxScratch) {
-        DoubleVector t = x.add(y).mul(F2);
-        LongVector i = floorToLong(x.add(t));
-        LongVector j = floorToLong(y.add(t));
-        DoubleVector skew = toDouble(i.add(j)).mul(G2);
-        DoubleVector x0 = x.sub(toDouble(i).sub(skew));
-        DoubleVector y0 = y.sub(toDouble(j).sub(skew));
-        VectorMask<Double> xGreater = x0.compare(VectorOperators.GT, y0);
-        VectorMask<Long> xGreaterL = xGreater.cast(LS);
-        LongVector i1 = LongVector.zero(LS).blend(1L, xGreaterL);
-        LongVector j1 = LongVector.broadcast(LS, 1L).blend(0L, xGreaterL);
-        DoubleVector x1 = x0.sub(toDouble(i1)).add(G2);
-        DoubleVector y1 = y0.sub(toDouble(j1)).add(G2);
-        DoubleVector x2 = x0.sub(1D).add(2D * G2);
-        DoubleVector y2 = y0.sub(1D).add(2D * G2);
-        DoubleVector n0 = corner(x0, y0, gradCoord(seed, i, j, x0, y0, idxScratch));
-        DoubleVector n1 = corner(x1, y1, gradCoord(seed, i.add(i1), j.add(j1), x1, y1, idxScratch));
-        DoubleVector n2 = corner(x2, y2, gradCoord(seed, i.add(1L), j.add(1L), x2, y2, idxScratch));
-        return n0.add(n1).add(n2).mul(50D);
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void simplexFractalFBM(long seed, int octaves, double frequency, double lacunarity, double gain,
-                                  double fractalBounding, double[] xs, double[] zs, double[] out, int length) {
-        if (!ALIGNED) {
-            tailScalar(seed, octaves, frequency, lacunarity, gain, fractalBounding, xs, zs, out, 0, length);
-            return;
-        }
-        int lanes = DS.length();
-        int bound = DS.loopBound(length);
-        int[] idxScratch = new int[lanes];
-        int k = 0;
-        for (; k < bound; k += lanes) {
-            DoubleVector x = DoubleVector.fromArray(DS, xs, k).mul(frequency);
-            DoubleVector y = DoubleVector.fromArray(DS, zs, k).mul(frequency);
-            long s = seed;
-            DoubleVector sum = singleSimplexVector(s, x, y, idxScratch);
-            double amp = 1D;
-            for (int o = 1; o < octaves; o++) {
-                x = x.mul(lacunarity);
-                y = y.mul(lacunarity);
-                amp *= gain;
-                sum = sum.add(singleSimplexVector(++s, x, y, idxScratch).mul(amp));
-            }
-            sum.mul(fractalBounding).intoArray(out, k);
-        }
-        tailScalar(seed, octaves, frequency, lacunarity, gain, fractalBounding, xs, zs, out, k, length);
-    }
-
-    private static void tailScalar(long seed, int octaves, double frequency, double lacunarity, double gain,
-                                   double fractalBounding, double[] xs, double[] zs, double[] out, int from, int length) {
-        for (int k = from; k < length; k++) {
-            out[k] = ScalarNoiseKernels2D.simplexFractalFBMScalar(seed, octaves, frequency, lacunarity, gain,
-                    fractalBounding, xs[k], zs[k]);
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/NoiseKernels2DParityTest.java b/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/NoiseKernels2DParityTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 69f16f747..000000000
--- a/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/NoiseKernels2DParityTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,120 +0,0 @@
-package art.arcane.iris.util.simd;
-
-import art.arcane.iris.util.project.noise.FastNoiseDouble;
-import art.arcane.iris.util.project.noise.FastNoiseDouble.FractalType;
-import art.arcane.iris.util.project.noise.FastNoiseDouble.NoiseType;
-import art.arcane.volmlib.util.math.RNG;
-import org.junit.Test;
-
-import static org.junit.Assert.assertEquals;
-
-public class NoiseKernels2DParityTest {
-    private static FastNoiseDouble oracle(long seed, int octaves) {
-        FastNoiseDouble n = new FastNoiseDouble(seed);
-        n.setNoiseType(NoiseType.SimplexFractal);
-        n.setFractalType(FractalType.FBM);
-        n.setFractalOctaves(octaves);
-        return n;
-    }
-
-    private static void assertKernelMatchesOracle(NoiseKernels2D kernel) {
-        RNG rng = new RNG(99L);
-        for (int octaves = 1; octaves <= 8; octaves++) {
-            FastNoiseDouble n = oracle(1337L + octaves, octaves);
-            int length = 256;
-            double[] xs = new double[length];
-            double[] zs = new double[length];
-            double[] expected = new double[length];
-            double[] out = new double[length];
-            for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-                double x = (rng.nextDouble() - 0.5D) * 1_000_000D;
-                double z = (rng.nextDouble() - 0.5D) * 1_000_000D;
-                xs[k] = x;
-                zs[k] = z;
-                expected[k] = n.GetSimplexFractal(x, z);
-            }
-            kernel.simplexFractalFBM(1337L + octaves, octaves, n.getFrequency(), 2.0D, 0.5D, n.getFractalBounding(), xs, zs, out, length);
-            for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-                assertEquals("octaves=" + octaves + " idx=" + k, expected[k], out[k], 0D);
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void scalarKernelIsBitExactToOracle() {
-        assertKernelMatchesOracle(new ScalarNoiseKernels2D());
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void vectorKernelSingleOctaveIsBitExactToOracle() {
-        org.junit.Assume.assumeTrue(VectorNoiseKernels2D.lanesAligned());
-        FastNoiseDouble n = oracle(202020L, 1);
-        RNG rng = new RNG(7L);
-        int length = 333;
-        double[] xs = new double[length];
-        double[] zs = new double[length];
-        double[] expected = new double[length];
-        double[] out = new double[length];
-        for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-            double x = (rng.nextDouble() - 0.5D) * 800_000D;
-            double z = (rng.nextDouble() - 0.5D) * 800_000D;
-            xs[k] = x;
-            zs[k] = z;
-            expected[k] = n.GetSimplexFractal(x, z);
-        }
-        new VectorNoiseKernels2D().simplexFractalFBM(202020L, 1, n.getFrequency(), 2.0D, 0.5D, n.getFractalBounding(), xs, zs, out, length);
-        for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-            assertEquals("idx=" + k, expected[k], out[k], 0D);
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void vectorKernelAllOctavesAreBitExactToOracle() {
-        org.junit.Assume.assumeTrue(VectorNoiseKernels2D.lanesAligned());
-        assertKernelMatchesOracle(new VectorNoiseKernels2D());
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void simdSupportReturnsBitExactNoiseKernel() {
-        NoiseKernels2D kernel = SimdSupport.noiseKernels2D();
-        org.junit.Assert.assertNotNull(kernel);
-        assertKernelMatchesOracle(kernel);
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void simdSupportNeverSelectsVectorBelowProfitableLanes() {
-        if (VectorNoiseKernels2D.profitable()) {
-            org.junit.Assert.assertTrue(SimdSupport.createVectorNoiseKernels2D() instanceof VectorNoiseKernels2D);
-        } else {
-            org.junit.Assert.assertTrue(SimdSupport.noiseKernels2D() instanceof ScalarNoiseKernels2D);
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void vectorMatchesScalarAcrossEdgeCases() {
-        org.junit.Assume.assumeTrue(VectorNoiseKernels2D.lanesAligned());
-        NoiseKernels2D scalar = new ScalarNoiseKernels2D();
-        NoiseKernels2D vector = new VectorNoiseKernels2D();
-        RNG rng = new RNG(31337L);
-        int[] lengths = {1, 3, 7, 8, 9, 255, 256, 257};
-        double[] edgeCoords = {-4.0D, -3.0D, -1.0D, -0.0D, 0.0D, 1.0D, 4.0D, 1_000_000.0D, -1_000_000.0D};
-        for (int octaves = 1; octaves <= 8; octaves++) {
-            for (int length : lengths) {
-                double[] xs = new double[length];
-                double[] zs = new double[length];
-                double[] a = new double[length];
-                double[] b = new double[length];
-                for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-                    boolean edge = (k % 3) == 0;
-                    xs[k] = edge ? edgeCoords[k % edgeCoords.length] : (rng.nextDouble() - 0.5D) * 2_000_000D;
-                    zs[k] = edge ? edgeCoords[(k + 1) % edgeCoords.length] : (rng.nextDouble() - 0.5D) * 2_000_000D;
-                }
-                scalar.simplexFractalFBM(77L, octaves, 0.01D, 2.0D, 0.5D, 0.6667D, xs, zs, a, length);
-                vector.simplexFractalFBM(77L, octaves, 0.01D, 2.0D, 0.5D, 0.6667D, xs, zs, b, length);
-                for (int k = 0; k < length; k++) {
-                    assertEquals("oct=" + octaves + " len=" + length + " idx=" + k, a[k], b[k], 0D);
-                }
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupportStatusTest.java b/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupportStatusTest.java
index 20a0cc2c7..a6c3ff6d6 100644
--- a/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupportStatusTest.java
+++ b/core/src/test/java/art/arcane/iris/util/simd/SimdSupportStatusTest.java
@@ -88,20 +88,19 @@ public class SimdSupportStatusTest {
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void aNarrowCpuIsReportedAsUnprofitableRatherThanDisabled() {
-        String status = SimdSupport.noiseKernelStatus(false, "scalar", true, null, true);
+    public void aCpuWithoutAUsableVectorShapeIsReportedAsSuchRatherThanDisabled() {
+        String status = SimdSupport.kernelStatus(false, "scalar", true, null, true);
 
-        assertTrue(status, status.contains("4 double lanes"));
+        assertTrue(status, status.contains("no usable vector shape"));
         assertFalse(status, status.contains("performance.simdKernels=false"));
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void installStatesTheLiveKernelSelectionForBothKernelSets() {
+    public void installStatesTheLiveKernelSelection() {
         SimdSupport.install();
 
-        assertTrue(emitted.toString(), emitted.size() >= 2);
+        assertTrue(emitted.toString(), emitted.size() >= 1);
         assertTrue(emitted.toString(), emitted.contains("SIMD: " + SimdSupport.kernelStatus()));
-        assertTrue(emitted.toString(), emitted.contains("SIMD: " + SimdSupport.noiseKernelStatus()));
     }
 
     @Test
@@ -111,6 +110,5 @@ public class SimdSupportStatusTest {
         }
 
         assertFalse(SimdSupport.kernelStatus(), SimdSupport.kernelStatus().contains("performance.simdKernels=false"));
-        assertFalse(SimdSupport.noiseKernelStatus(), SimdSupport.noiseKernelStatus().contains("performance.simdKernels=false"));
     }
 }
diff --git a/tools/simd-bench/README.md b/tools/simd-bench/README.md
index ae6bd62f0..d5d149559 100644
--- a/tools/simd-bench/README.md
+++ b/tools/simd-bench/README.md
@@ -6,9 +6,13 @@ on**. The Volmit dev/test machines are Apple Silicon, where the wide-SIMD path
 (4+ double lanes) does not exist. Copy the built artifact to a Windows/x86 box
 (AVX2 = 4 lanes, AVX-512 = 8 lanes) and run it to get real numbers for that CPU.
 
-The six kernel classes are copied verbatim (logic byte-for-byte) from
-`Iris/core/.../util/simd/`. This tool is intentionally a duplicate so it builds
-and runs on its own with no Gradle, no VolmLib, and no Iris on the classpath.
+The three array kernel classes are copied verbatim (logic byte-for-byte) from
+`Iris/core/.../util/simd/`. The three 2D noise kernel classes are a candidate
+implementation that Iris does not ship: it measured 0.07x against scalar on
+2-lane NEON and was removed, and this harness keeps it so the same question can be
+answered on a wider CPU before anyone rebuilds it. This tool is intentionally a
+duplicate so it builds and runs on its own with no Gradle, no VolmLib, and no Iris
+on the classpath.
 
 ## Requirements
 
@@ -98,7 +102,8 @@ run.bat --mode both      (default)
   throughput will be (cache behavior, allocation, and surrounding code differ in
   the real engine).
 - **Effort 1 array kernels** (`roundToInt` / `sum` / `max`) run unconditionally
-  in real Iris. **Effort 2 noise** (`simplexFractalFBM`) is currently unwired in
-  Iris and gated to 4+ double lanes; this tool force-measures it regardless.
+  in real Iris. **Effort 2 noise** (`simplexFractalFBM`) is not part of
+  Iris; this tool force-measures the candidate kernel regardless of the 4+ double
+  lane gate.
 - Vector-API auto-vectorization and cost depend heavily on the JDK version and
   CPU. Run on the actual target hardware; do not extrapolate across machines.